I was walking around in Lowe's when I heard "Yo, is that you Phil McAvity what are you doing here?" I turned around and it was Norm Alesbow a guy I used to play racquetball with. "Hey, Norm." I answered and he asked me if I heard about Mel O'Deeis "No. what's goin' on?" I queried. Turns out Mel wrote another book, this one about semen retention. I joked to Norm as we parted company that I'd check it out. Well. in a word, vomitus. This O'Deeis guy has word crafted (more like word puked) a compendium of Bible-warped, science trashing crapola based on ejaculation avoidance. His theory is that since sperm is the lifeline to human existence, store it and adore what it'll do for your longevity. It's obvious he's never seen the studies proving continuous, frequent jizzing preserves prostates and keeps you around for the long he-haw. I remember the first time I met Mel and I instantly thought he sat down to pee. What a nancy boy! How did he ever get a publisher to print his dribble? Oh wait - he self-published this drek. Har-har! Let me have a little talk with my anaconda "hey Drew Peacock, guess we won't be strokin' or pokin' much now that we found out it's slowly killing us. The gigolo squawked that "good life there depends on the quality of the batteries". No, he's the poopyhead. Help without fishing for it is going high instead of ruining the buzzkill by getting caught smelling the hand recently farted upon.

We may not be omniscient but we are Norfolk. A lapse from sensibility doesn't curb your komodo if you pay attention to what's goin' on. Unlike touring a la Coachella featuring the moat, our devotion to the framer's nuances propels us. When the pursuit of happiness ended ? years ago the venture shifted to omnivoral diction. Now we reap the growth instead of plowing it under. Can you spell monasticism?